Perhaps you're feeling overwhelmed by the pressures of your life: family, work, marriage, money, ill health, maintaining your home. You may be making a life-changing decision about having a child, marrying or divorcing. Maybe you're trying to make changes in your career or work life. You may have become parent to one or both of your own or your spouse's parents. Each new demand feels like the one that will push you over the edge. And maybe you're trying to juggle all those things in addition to dealing with grief because of the death of a loved one, or dealing with hurt or trauma from childhood or adolescence. You want counseling help, or some kind of personal coaching, but are uncertain about how to find it.

First think about whether you want to work with a man or a woman. Next, ask your friends. Try not to let embarrassment keep you from asking, because a word-of-mouth referral is the best. If you can't ask friends, then check out the counseling department of a major university or the training association for a particular type of therapy by calling or researching on-line. Bioenergetics, Rational Emotive Therapy, Jungian analysis, Transpersonal Therapy, and Hakomi are just a few of the many different kinds of therapy available.

Try to obtain at least two or three names and make an appointment for a session to meet each therapist. Ask questions on the phone or during the first meeting: What kind of degree do you have? Where did you go to school? Do you believe in short-term therapy? How do you work with your clients? Is it all talk? Analytic? Do you incorporate any body or energy work? Do you have a supervisor? If yes, Who is it and what are his or her credentials? You have a right to know the answers to all these questions.

The question about supervision is an important one because counselors and therapists are human, too and at times their own issues can become confused with those of a client. Perhaps you sound like his mother. Maybe you have eyes like her father's. Or, maybe you're struggling to stay in a marriage that is less than perfect and the therapist has just been through a terribly painful and costly divorce. A supervising therapist can identify sensitive areas pretty quickly, because she is outside the situation. This helps your therapist avoid potential problems while working with you.

It's paradoxical that when you are most in need of therapy, you are least likely to feel strong enough to do what is needed to make a good choice. However, it is vital to the outcome of your therapy that you do some homework. Consider this, you are the employer. The counselor, therapist, psychologist or psychiatrist is your employee. You are paying for a service. The therapist is not some superior, all-knowing being just because he or she has a particular degree. Trust your instincts. If you feel uncomfortable or unsafe with someone and do not become more at ease after several sessions, this is probably not the right therapist for you. Talk to him or her about it. Ask for a referral. Keep looking. A good therapeutic relationship is worth whatever effort it takes. © 1995

Here are some links that could help in your search:

• All About Counseling's national directory of counselors is easy to use.

• There is a Practitioner Directory and a wealth of mental health information
  on the consumer connection page at the @Health web site.

• Find a Therapist is an international directory of psychotherapists.

• The Mental Health Network lists 15,000 clinicians across the country.

• A helpful article might be Why Psychotherapy? on this web site.

NOTE: Since I wrote the article above, the technological age has really swung into place and more and more therapists are offering on-line and telephone counseling services. As convenient as this kind of therapeutic service might be, and as appealing as the idea of annonymity, there is an enormous value to working with someone face-to-face and I'd want to caution you about any therapist who is willing to jump right into either on-line or telephone therapy without meeting and spending several sessions with you first. There is so much therapeutic information to be had in being able to see you -- your eyes, your mouth, what your body is doing while you're talking, your hands, feet; how your energy changes as you talk. I could not work long-distance with someone I hadn't first met for a series of in-person sessions which would allow me to get to know and have a sense of the whole person.

Related Article: Why Psychotherapy?

More Articles:
Dealing with Loss and Grieving
Feeling Your Feelings
Healing into Peace and Wholeness
Historical Anger
Living a More Conscious Life
Living in the Moment
Making Choices
Some thoughts About Resistance
Shame

Poetry:
Affirmation
Anniversary
Centering
Loving
Womanbirth

Return to Home Page

JanFable has worked as a psychotherapist for more than 25 years. She has a master's degree in counseling and is a Connecticut licensed drug and alcohol counselor. Her primary training is in Bioenergetic Analysis which deals with the whole person. She has extensive training in the treatment of dissociative disorders and trauma survivors and in using of altered states of consciousness in healing. She has also completed Level I and Level II training in Thought Field Therapy.

Jan's training and experience expanded

Jan Fable
203.255-5055
Fairfield, Connecticut

If you want to contact me, you can email me at JFable at forhealing.org
(There's no link to avoid spam)

I Home I Back to Articles and Poetry I Jan Fable's Training & Experience I Individual & Couples Therapy I Intervention Services I
I Thought Field Therapy I Thought Field Therapy Explained I Personal & Career Coaching I Book Reviews I
I Questions & Answers I Other Articles and Poetry I Why Psychotherapy? I Mindfulness Meditation I Helpful Links I